


forever? never!

by goldncrowns



Category: Hollyoaks
Genre: Death, F/F, Gen, Jail, Letters, Multi, Murder, Poetry, Regret, county lines, prose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28792332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldncrowns/pseuds/goldncrowns
Summary: "you said forever, now I drive alone past your street."In which Juliet Quinn, writes letters as she regrets her part in the county lines that rocked Hollyoaks.
Relationships: Juliet Quinn / Peri Lomax, Juliet Quinn / Sid Sumner
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

DEAR JULIET, 

I was scared. So very scared. Ever since you came into my life, I was scared. I know that it doesn’t negate the consequences of my actions, but who could blame me? What they were offering, was something that I’d never had in my life. And for much of it, it was okay. I mean everything about it was attractive? I never thought it would have led to anything like this you know. 

Sid and I were scared of the consequences ever since they tried to get Ella and Charlie involved. This war that we had entered into; county lines was never something that little kids needed to be a part of. I should have fought for them and their freedom. 

It was never in my mind for a second that these kids deserved to be involved, but I was fucking scared of everything. Things were getting scarier, Marnie, oh Marnie had been attacked and I’d tried to leave. I tried to leave and I JUST KNEW that neither Victor or Jordan would let me. 

And it hurts. It’s like screaming. The pain does not fade. It just grows stronger, it grows so strong and I know it’ll never be the way it was. It hurts because I love you and because of how special you are. And that it will never be the same. There’s things I want to say to you but I do not have the words. I don’t know any way to admit I love you. I know we were never perfect and I’m not saying I wish we were as perfection is boring anyways, but I’m here on MY OWN and it hurts Jules, it fucking hurts. I just wish time would rewind, because I miss ‘US’ and it hurts because they were right. I was never good enough for you. 

And I’m not saying I sold them for you. But I wanted approval. 

I wanted approval and I went through it all in the wrong way. 

I should never have touched the weed or the ket or anything. 

It’s just a tragedy that it has come to this. 

Love, Juliet.


	2. Chapter 2

DEAR JULIET,   
I wonder if you ever loved me. Or if you were in love with the way that the world adored the two of us together. We were never meant to be the stuff of fairytales. We were never meant to be the stuff of broken horror films, twisted into reality. And I never meant for us to fall in love. 

It was hard keeping secrets from you. You would always ask where I got new clothes from, where my jacket was from and I could never tell you the truth for I was scared. I was scared that when you found out, you’d go in that pristine voice of yours’: “You’ve been dealing drugs.” And I wouldn’t be able to say the truth. You would have judged me Pez. I know that you would’ve. 

Everyone judges me. They think I’m one of them bratty, chavvy kids that has anger management issues. They all judge, and there’s no way that I can stop them. I exist in the places beyond their words. In the trap houses, and in the criminal courts where I will be trailed. I will be placed into the newspapers, in the places where the stories haunt the village of Hollyoaks, and I’ll be in jail for life. 

You have to move on, you have to admit that I was nothing to you. For you deserve to be happy, and live a life without me in it. You deserve the moon, the stars and everything in between Peri Lomax. You don’t deserve some jumped up little drug dealer. 

Oh god, that sounded like one of Romeo’s bloody poetry anthologies. 

I never meant to hurt anyone. But if I had have a choice, then I would never have gone through with it. But I was groomed. 

I was groomed into selling drugs, and then I groomed others, and now I am more ashamed then I am not. 

Did you love me Peri Lomax or did you feel like you didn’t have a choice. 

For I told the stars that I wanted to marry you. I wanted to marry you, and now I can’t. I can’t live in this jail cell much longer. They are going to kill me, Someone is going to snap and kill. And I don’t want to be the one that dies. 

There are people in here that venom in their bones, ice in their stares and demons in their minds. And I am so scared and so hurt. Someone is going to kill me. 

Someone will turn me into the next Jordan Price. He was killed, wasn’t he? 

Love Juliet.


End file.
